Midnight Musings

Showers at JFK and other airports

I recently took an overnight flight from SFO to JFK and was going to do my regular routine - check into a hotel, pay the full rate, and take a quick shower before heading off to my meetings. As I do this regularly, I decided to see if there were showers at JFK itself and thus avoid paying $300+ for the use of a hotel room shower, and also head right off to my morning meetings.

Lo and behold, American Airlines' Red Carpet Club Admirals Club (Terminal 8, Concourse B & C) has showers! At $50 for a day pass, it's a bargain. And more importantly, the bathroom is immaculate and stocked with towels, hair dryer, and shampoo/conditioner/shower gel. The catch - you have to fly American Airlines, so that may limit some options.

It looks from their list that they have many locations with showers, so please comment below if you've every used these facilities, or know of other showers in airports.

Chocolate Mint Bars Recipe

The first time I ate this was at a holiday party - and I think I had 3 bars before realizing I had better stop! Given to me by my walking buddy, Amy.

This recipe can be easily doubled, using a 13x9 pan.

First layer, cream together:
1/2 cup butter
1 cup sugar

Then add:
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 oz. semi-sweet chocolate, melted
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup nuts

Spread into greased 8x8 pan and bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool.

Second layer, mix together and spread on top of the cake layer:
1 cup powdered sugar
2 tbsp. butter
1 tbsp. cream
1/2 tsp. peppermint extract

Third layer, mix togehter and spread on top of the mint layer:
1 oz. semi-sweet chocolate, melted
1 tbsp. butter

The gift of giving -- learning from the young

This past fall, my 8 year old son was writing up thank you notes for the presents he received for his birthday. At one point, he put down his pencil and said, "Mom, I really like all of these presents and it was really nice for everyone to get them for me. But I don't need them. I wish they had gotten something for the animals at the shelter instead." Honestly, this came out sincerely and I was so proud of him for thinking at this level.

We discussed it and he decided that for the holidays this year, that he only wanted one gift from us  and is asking his extended family to give him donations for the animal shelter in lieu of a gift. And while he's happy to take cash for the shelter, he's specifically asking for old shoe boxes, tennis balls, and homemade dog biscuits that the animals can use.

It should be an interesting Christmas Day, as the entire family is coming over to our house. We usually stack all of the cousins' presents into piles and then let them have at it. He'll have his one gift (it's an MP3-playing remote control car) and inevitably will get a few smaller gifts as well. (I've resisted buying him "extra gifts" and instead will be presenting him with stack of dog biscuit recipes that we can make together on Christmas day.) And he'll have a big pile of shoe boxes, tennis balls, and dog biscuits while the other kids are unwrapping toy after toy after toy. Will he be envious of the other kids' toys? Or will he learn at this tender young age that giving gifts can be just as fun -- or even more fun -- than receiving gifts for one's self?

So here's my recommendation on gifts for this holiday season -- give the gift of learning to give gifts, especially to charities that your kids believe in. My six year old daughter has focused on homelessness as a problem that she wants to address -- although she has as yet to do anything concrete about this concern. But this year, I'm going to encourage her to think of something that she can contribute, from art that can hang on a shelter wall to baking cookies for a holiday dinner. So I'm learning from my son, teaching my daughter, and in the end, hoping that we all come out of the holidays with a better appreciation of this gift giving ritual.

Cross-posted on svmoms.com

How To Be A Good Guy

I was at a typical Silicon Valley business meeting last week, filled with venture capitalists and entrepreneurs. Note: I was one of three women out of 25 people (I DID say that it was a typical Silicon Valley business meeting!)

One phrase I heard over and over again was "He's a good guy." This phrase is often invoked when the person saying it has done something with that guy, thinks highly of him, and suggests that you should get to know him as well.

And I got to thinking that probably no one has ever used that phrase to describe me -- not because I'm not a worthy person but simply because I'm not "a guy". So it's kinda hard to be "a good guy". I also realized that I never use that term to describe someone.

So when the VC sitting across from me said it again, I took it upon myself to ask him how he defined "a good guy" because, frankly, I wanted in on the action! We discussed it for a while, and I shared my opinion that it's a phrase that excludes unintentionally. My suggestion: replace the short hand with the exact meaning, such as "I think he's smart" or "I think it would be worth your while to get to know him." The result: the now-enlightened VC committed to not using "a good guy" in the future.

So, you may be asking, why am I writing about this on a mommy blog? Because as moms, I think we owe it to our children to be on the watch for the use of subtle language like this. I'm not advocating the return of the politically correct police, but rather, a greater awareness in every day situations and every day conversations of opportunities like this to enlighten the people around us of a different perspective.

Am I being hypersensitive about this? Probably, so I'd love to hear your thoughts about this topic.

Cross-posted on svmoms.com

I was at a typical Silicon Valley business meeting last week, filled with venture capitalists and entrepreneurs. Note: I was one of three women out of 25 people (I DID say that it was a typical Silicon Valley business meeting!)

One phrase I heard over and over again was "He's a good guy." This phrase is often invoked when the person saying it has done something with that guy, thinks highly of him, and suggests that you should get to know him as well.

And I got to thinking that probably no one has ever used that phrase to describe me -- not because I'm not a worthy person but simply because I'm not "a guy". So it's kinda hard to be "a good guy". I also realized that I never use that term to describe someone.

So when the VC sitting across from me said it again, I took it upon myself to ask him how he defined "a good guy" because, frankly, I wanted in on the action! We discussed it for a while, and I shared my opinion that it's a phrase that excludes unintentionally. My suggestion: replace the short hand with the exact meaning, such as "I think he's smart" or "I think it would be worth your while to get to know him." The result: the now-enlightened VC committed to not using "a good guy" in the future.

So, you may be asking, why am I writing about this on a mommy blog? Because as moms, I think we owe it to our children to be on the watch for the use of subtle language like this. I'm not advocating the return of the politically correct police, but rather, a greater awareness in every day situations and every day conversations of opportunities like this to enlighten the people around us of a different perspective.

Am I being hypersensitive about this? Probably, so I'd love to hear your thoughts about this topic.

Cross-posted on svmoms.com

Kids, Voting, And Citizenship

I remember the day my parents were sworn in as citizens of the United States – it was a proud moment for all of us and I vividly recall going with them the first time they were able to cast their vote.

It’s a precious, this right of ours, to have a say in who will govern and how we will be governed. Yet, it’s shocking that only 61% of eligible voters turned out for the presidential election in 2004. And in 2002, the last mid-term election, only 39.5% of eligible voters turned out to vote.

Why is this? The California Voter Foundation conducted a study in the summer of 2005 to understand why people didn’t vote and found that “Among infrequent voters, the two most important reasons for not voting were “I’m too busy to vote” (28 percent) and “There are no candidates that I believe in” (20 percent).” The CVF has several recommended strategies on how to increase voter turnout, ranging from greater awareness of absentee ballots to encouraging friends and family to vote.

I have one other to add: Take your kids to the polls. I’ve been taking my kids to the polls, having them help me make sure that I transfer the right votes from my sample ballot cheat sheet (available from smartvoter.org) to the official ballot. They even help my put the ballot into the machine that “eats” it. I also discuss issues I think they can understand, such as Measure A in San Mateo County which enacts a sales tax to support parks and recreation services.

But there’s one thing I won’t let them help me with – and that’s filling out the ballot (they think it’s actually fun drawing thick black lines on the ballot!). That’s a privilege and right which I want them to look forward to, the day when they become voting members of their community. Until then, they’ll have to settle for the gratification of “I voted” stickers and I’ll know that I have done my part – for the time being – of raising the next generation of citizens.

I remember the day my parents were sworn in as citizens of the United States – it was a proud moment for all of us and I vividly recall going with them the first time they were able to cast their vote.

It’s a precious, this right of ours, to have a say in who will govern and how we will be governed. Yet, it’s shocking that only 61% of eligible voters turned out for the presidential election in 2004. And in 2002, the last mid-term election, only 39.5% of eligible voters turned out to vote.

Why is this? The California Voter Foundation conducted a study in the summer of 2005 to understand why people didn’t vote and found that “Among infrequent voters, the two most important reasons for not voting were “I’m too busy to vote” (28 percent) and “There are no candidates that I believe in” (20 percent).” The CVF has several recommended strategies on how to increase voter turnout, ranging from greater awareness of absentee ballots to encouraging friends and family to vote.

I have one other to add: Take your kids to the polls. I’ve been taking my kids to the polls, having them help me make sure that I transfer the right votes from my sample ballot cheat sheet (available from smartvoter.org) to the official ballot. They even help my put the ballot into the machine that “eats” it. I also discuss issues I think they can understand, such as Measure A in San Mateo County which enacts a sales tax to support parks and recreation services.

But there’s one thing I won’t let them help me with – and that’s filling out the ballot (they think it’s actually fun drawing thick black lines on the ballot!). That’s a privilege and right which I want them to look forward to, the day when they become voting members of their community. Until then, they’ll have to settle for the gratification of “I voted” stickers and I’ll know that I have done my part – for the time being – of raising the next generation of citizens.

Rethinking Music Lessons

I am frequently asked how to select a music teacher for a child, primarily because my husband and I are classically trained musicians and have enrolled our kids in lessons for years. Daughter K. took to piano at a VERY early age -- she started private lessons at 3.5 years and has been going strong since. Son B. started on piano also early, at age 5, but struggled -- surprise surprise, it turns out that boys don't develop finger dexterity until much later than girls.

So we decided to try violin with B. -- probably the hardest instrument you could ever play! Why? Two reasons: 1) it would be hard for sister K to pick up and 2) both mom and dad know how to play it (although neither of us really enjoyed it that much). While B. took to it at first, it became evident that he really didn't like the sound of the violin -- which is understandable, since who would like a high, out-of-tune screech?

We returned the rental violin and having learned from the previous experiences, let him decide what instrument he wanted to play. We were adament that he play **something** musical and after thinking about it, he decided on the electric guitar.

Now, mind you, my classically trained ear and mind rebelled initially at the thought of my son playing the electric guitar. But then I quickly realized that I shouldn't be so close-minded about the type of music he should learn. After all, music is music isn't it? So I put my plan into action with the goal of o getting my son totally excited about his new instrument instead of dreading it.

We trotted off to B Street Music in San Mateo and picked up a starter guitar set. B. has been strumming on the guitar for the past three weeks and got to the point where he was **begging** to have a lesson. He couldn't get the guitar to sound the way it did on the songs he liked and was eager to learn to play chords. Ha, Ha! Part one of my plan was going pretty well!

He went to his first lesson with his dad last week and I was thrilled to learn that he came back not only knowing how to tune his guitar but also now knew three chords, enabling him to play actual songs! He's been diligently practicing the chords every night -- we'll see how long this keeps up.

Part Two of my plan is this -- I want my son to really love music, and to understand what a great gift it can be. But not at the cost of making him suffer through tortuous lessons. I have a guitar-playing colleague at work who had some great words of wisdom -- that there is no one right way to play the guitar, and if we didn't end up liking our current teacher, that we should keep looking until we find one that worked well with my son's style.

Bear with me through one other anecdote about my daughter. Her teacher suggested that she participate in the piano competition at the San Mateo County Fair this summer, especially since K. enjoyed performing so much. She played her pieces well, but it was clear that the other students were much more accomplished and spent a LOT of time practicing every day. Afterwards she commented that she "was the baddest" and I could see that she was disappointed. I took her in my arms, told her how incredibly proud that she got up there and played, and that she did her best, which was all anybody could ask her to do. I also said that she had other things in her life that she enjoyed doing, like swimming, biking, singing, and gymnastics, that meant she didn't practice as much as they other kids. I emphasized that if she wanted to play the piano better, we could practice more. She hasn't taken me up on the proposition and remains to this day a very balanced, happy girl that plays the piano well (if not always perfectly).

This got me to thinking even more about why we push our kids to be musical. Is the goal of lessons to become a world-class musicians? Or was the goal of the practicing and lessons to develop a deep love for music? In discussions with K.'s music teacher, we're beginning to emphasize a balance of perfecting pieces with understanding the meaning behind the music, and also, composing creative songs built on a solid theoretical understanding of music. The process has helped me completely rethink the purpose of music education in our lives.

This has been our scattered journey into the world of music lessons.

And oh, I'm getting my son earphones for his birthday next week -- even though he'll get better, I'm not sure I'll always appreciate his form of musical expression!

Cross-posted on svmoms.com

I am frequently asked how to select a music teacher for a child, primarily because my husband and I are classically trained musicians and have enrolled our kids in lessons for years. Daughter K. took to piano at a VERY early age -- she started private lessons at 3.5 years and has been going strong since. Son B. started on piano also early, at age 5, but struggled -- surprise surprise, it turns out that boys don't develop finger dexterity until much later than girls.

So we decided to try violin with B. -- probably the hardest instrument you could ever play! Why? Two reasons: 1) it would be hard for sister K to pick up and 2) both mom and dad know how to play it (although neither of us really enjoyed it that much). While B. took to it at first, it became evident that he really didn't like the sound of the violin -- which is understandable, since who would like a high, out-of-tune screech?

We returned the rental violin and having learned from the previous experiences, let him decide what instrument he wanted to play. We were adament that he play **something** musical and after thinking about it, he decided on the electric guitar.

Now, mind you, my classically trained ear and mind rebelled initially at the thought of my son playing the electric guitar. But then I quickly realized that I shouldn't be so close-minded about the type of music he should learn. After all, music is music isn't it? So I put my plan into action with the goal of o getting my son totally excited about his new instrument instead of dreading it.

We trotted off to B Street Music in San Mateo and picked up a starter guitar set. B. has been strumming on the guitar for the past three weeks and got to the point where he was **begging** to have a lesson. He couldn't get the guitar to sound the way it did on the songs he liked and was eager to learn to play chords. Ha, Ha! Part one of my plan was going pretty well!

He went to his first lesson with his dad last week and I was thrilled to learn that he came back not only knowing how to tune his guitar but also now knew three chords, enabling him to play actual songs! He's been diligently practicing the chords every night -- we'll see how long this keeps up.

Part Two of my plan is this -- I want my son to really love music, and to understand what a great gift it can be. But not at the cost of making him suffer through tortuous lessons. I have a guitar-playing colleague at work who had some great words of wisdom -- that there is no one right way to play the guitar, and if we didn't end up liking our current teacher, that we should keep looking until we find one that worked well with my son's style.

Bear with me through one other anecdote about my daughter. Her teacher suggested that she participate in the piano competition at the San Mateo County Fair this summer, especially since K. enjoyed performing so much. She played her pieces well, but it was clear that the other students were much more accomplished and spent a LOT of time practicing every day. Afterwards she commented that she "was the baddest" and I could see that she was disappointed. I took her in my arms, told her how incredibly proud that she got up there and played, and that she did her best, which was all anybody could ask her to do. I also said that she had other things in her life that she enjoyed doing, like swimming, biking, singing, and gymnastics, that meant she didn't practice as much as they other kids. I emphasized that if she wanted to play the piano better, we could practice more. She hasn't taken me up on the proposition and remains to this day a very balanced, happy girl that plays the piano well (if not always perfectly).

This got me to thinking even more about why we push our kids to be musical. Is the goal of lessons to become a world-class musicians? Or was the goal of the practicing and lessons to develop a deep love for music? In discussions with K.'s music teacher, we're beginning to emphasize a balance of perfecting pieces with understanding the meaning behind the music, and also, composing creative songs built on a solid theoretical understanding of music. The process has helped me completely rethink the purpose of music education in our lives.

This has been our scattered journey into the world of music lessons.

And oh, I'm getting my son earphones for his birthday next week -- even though he'll get better, I'm not sure I'll always appreciate his form of musical expression!

Cross-posted on svmoms.com

If I Had A Millions Dollars...

When I moved to Silicon Valley five years ago, I sang this song over and over again -- and it usually went "If I had a million dollars....I'd buy a house". Well, I've bought my house and so now, the question is what would I do if I had *another* million dollars?

Let me put this post in context -- I'm sitting in the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport, banging out this post, while drinking a beer, noshing on nachos, and hoping that my flight doesn't get any more delayed so that I can put my kids to sleep on a Friday night. So the first thought comes to mind is that if I ever lottery jackpot (which I guiltily play every time I pick up groceries), I would quit my job so that I could stay home with the kids.

But would I?  My kids are in school so I'd have to find something else to do during the day. Maybe I'd work on a political campaign or help out a non-profit. Maybe I'd pull my kids out of school, travel around the world and homeschool them along the way. But then again, I probably wouldn't, which pulls me back to why would I want to "make it big" in the first place?

I find Silicon Valley warped in so many ways, and none more so than the drive to strike it rich. But there's something else -- it's the drive to make a difference. In my line of work, I see many repeat entrepreneurs who have made their riches, but are back in it again, working outrageous hours -- for what? There's something driving us here, something more than the profit motive.

It's part of the reason why I love living here -- the passion with which people pursue their hopes and dreams. And before I get any mushier (the effect of the beer, week of work, or just plain sentiment), let me put down what I would do with a million dollars:

- I'd give half of it away to support my favorite causes
- I'd invest a quarter in new businesses that could multiple the money for even more future investment in good causes
- And I'd spend the rest on family vacations to far flung locales.

So what would you do with your cool millions?

Cross-posted on svmoms.com

When I moved to Silicon Valley five years ago, I sang this song over and over again -- and it usually went "If I had a million dollars....I'd buy a house". Well, I've bought my house and so now, the question is what would I do if I had *another* million dollars?

Let me put this post in context -- I'm sitting in the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport, banging out this post, while drinking a beer, noshing on nachos, and hoping that my flight doesn't get any more delayed so that I can put my kids to sleep on a Friday night. So the first thought comes to mind is that if I ever lottery jackpot (which I guiltily play every time I pick up groceries), I would quit my job so that I could stay home with the kids.

But would I?  My kids are in school so I'd have to find something else to do during the day. Maybe I'd work on a political campaign or help out a non-profit. Maybe I'd pull my kids out of school, travel around the world and homeschool them along the way. But then again, I probably wouldn't, which pulls me back to why would I want to "make it big" in the first place?

I find Silicon Valley warped in so many ways, and none more so than the drive to strike it rich. But there's something else -- it's the drive to make a difference. In my line of work, I see many repeat entrepreneurs who have made their riches, but are back in it again, working outrageous hours -- for what? There's something driving us here, something more than the profit motive.

It's part of the reason why I love living here -- the passion with which people pursue their hopes and dreams. And before I get any mushier (the effect of the beer, week of work, or just plain sentiment), let me put down what I would do with a million dollars:

- I'd give half of it away to support my favorite causes
- I'd invest a quarter in new businesses that could multiple the money for even more future investment in good causes
- And I'd spend the rest on family vacations to far flung locales.

So what would you do with your cool millions?

Cross-posted on svmoms.com

My Google Bag

My first grade daughter has been bringing a swim bag to camp most days this summer -- it was one of those tchotchkes that I got at an industry event. So last weekend she was getting ready to go to a swim birthday party and asked, "Mom, where's my Google bag?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and said, "Honey, it's a Yahoo! bag."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Well, do you know where it is?"

My daughter is your typical Silicon Valley kid who knows how to use the Internet, can type in URLs, and has heard me and my husband talk endlessly about companies like Google and Yahoo!. What struck me dumb was that even though she was carrying around this large purple swim bag emblazoned with Yahoo!'s name on it all summer, she thought it was her Google bag. It's incredible to me that the Google brand carries such weight that it became top of mind for my six year old.

Just to double check, I asked her later if she knew what the difference was between Google and Yahoo. "Yahoo! is the place where you go to play games (she uses Yahooligans)," while "Google is what shows up on your screen when something doesn't work." (Google is the default search engine on the kids' computer so it appears to the side of the Web browser when a page can't be found). My son (a second grader) chimed in that Google was good for finding stuff you needed to know about, while Yahoo! was the place you go to find pictures, play games, and check your email.

So while Yahoo! doesn't appear to be top of mind for my daughter, she definitely has a more positive opinion of Yahoo! than of Google. There's hope yet for Yahoo! to win the mind as well as the heart of my daughter.

Surviving amusement parks with kids

I love roller coasters and for the past four years, my family has gotten season passes for the local amusement park, Great America, and we end up going at least four times a year. And yes, I actually enjoy it with the kids! My husband took the kids (ages 6 and 7) while I was at BlogHer and we just went again this Sunday with other family members.

I thought I'd pass along some tips and tricks we've developed to not only survive but actually enjoy and look forward to a trip to amusement parks with kids, and specifically, Great America. I'd welcome any other tips as well!

- Go early, leave early. Plan to arrive at the gates as close to opening time as possible.  You'll have the run of the park until around lunch time when the not-as-organized families and teenagers arrive. The park typically gets really crowded after 3pm, which is exactly when we head for the exits. Don't think you're getting your money's worth? Be sure to use the online ticketing options which can cut almost half off the price of an adult ticket, and think also about how much happier you'll all be if you get out while everyone is still in a good mood.

- Give the kids a budget for spending. One of the worst things about amusement parks is the whining. Opportunities to spend money are everywhere you turn -- from games to cotton candy to tempting merchandise. Our solution: give the kids a set budget and allow them to spend it anyway that they want. We typically give them $5, which allows them to play a game, blow it at the candy store, or buy a coveted necklace or car. Our only rule -- they can't buy/eat candy before lunch.

By doing this, we've pretty much eliminated all whining that surrounds spending money. It's also a nice way to teach them the value of money and have them do math as well. But when the money is gone, it's gone. It's hard the first the child realizes they are out of money and can't do anything, but the next time we go, they really budget their money.

- Eat an early lunch. Beat the crowds, avoid grumpy hungry kids, and hit the rides again as everyone else is heading to the cafes. At Great America, the NickToons Cafe is great if you don't mind your kids becoming video zombies. The cafeteria-style lines can be very long, so this is our trick - seat the kids at a table (they will zombie-out), then grab a fruit salad, a few slices of pizza, and make a stop at the drink fountain. I don't wait in the line as it's the people waiting for hot meals like burgers and chicken nuggest. We also invest in two refillable drink bottles that keeps us hydrated all day -- I usually fill one with Sprite and dilute it with lots of ice and also some water for the kids. The other I fill with Diet Coke to keep give us the energy to keep up with the kids wired on Sprite. One extra benefit of the bottles -- you can use them year after year after year.

- Plan down time. One of our favorite attractions is Scooby Doo's Haunted River, where kids can float boats down a mountain river. There's only one entrance and exit, and you can sit on a nearby patio or benches and watch all of the proceedings. Our kids know when they need to take a break and will ask specifically to go there to unwind! We also see shows, go on the SkyTower for great views, and take the cable car to slow everything down.

About

This is an example of a WordPress page, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many pages like this one or sub-pages as you like and manage all of your content inside of WordPress.